All-MLB Name Team, Vol 2

Alright, here's the National League version, in honor of the NL Central facing dual-elimination from the playoffs today.

Jorge Julio (Braves) - Hard to trust anyone with two first names
Vladimir Nunez (Braves) - Well look at this! Who know there were not one, but two Hispanic major-league players named Vlad. What are the odds!
Jair Jurrjens (Braves) - I hope he's Dutch or something; otherwise, that's one awkward name
Corky Miller (Braves) - wasn't he on "Life Goes On", that sappy TV show from the 80s?
Dallas McPherson (Marlins) - Totally a soap opera character
Dan Uggla (Marlins) - So let's say you're in a bar, and Dan is there with, let's say, his sister and a bunch of her friends. And let's say you find one of her friends wildly attractive and decide to make a move. And let's say you have a clever, sports-knowledgeable buddy to serve as a wingman. Could your buddy possibly say anything better than, "Go for it, man, I'll take the Uggla one"
Cameron Maybin (Marlins) - maybin...maybin not, who knows
Ambiorix Burgos (Mets) - What the hell is that? Didn't the main character in The Last Starfighter get attacked by an ambiorix? Maybe it was in Lord of the Rings. I believe it's a mythical beast with fur, scales, and the supernatural ability to throw small, white balls really, really fast
Joe Smith (Mets) - Ya know, there's such a thing as too plain/boring
Angel Pagan (Mets) - Really? How could this possibly be his given name? Does the religious right know about this guy? What a fabulous dichotomy of language! It works and so many different levels! And all in one simple name! Right up there with that guy who plays pro hockey named Miroslav Satan.
So Taguchi (Phillies) - The last time I was in Tokyo, I overhead this conversation:
Person 1: "Did you get that sweater you were looking at the other day?"
Person 2: "No, I decided that it was kind of outdated"
Person 1: "Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but that sweater is so taguchi"
Matt Chico (Nationals) - Hello, my name is Matt Boy, nice to meet you
Wily Mo Pena (Nationals) - Now this is just an awesome name. Not to mention the fact that his first name should be pronounced like the cartoon coyote
Lastings Milledge (Nationals) - Also beware those individuals with two last names. C'mon, who names their kid 'Lastings'? What do you call him for short? Lasty? Tings?
Jeff Samardzija (Cubs) - I liked this name when he was a receiver at Notre Dame, and it's still cool. He could be a relief pitcher....or a former Soviet Socialist Republic!
Felix Pie (Cubs) - and Morris Cake... and Alex Strudel... I could go all day here
Adam Pettyjohn (Reds) - I believe a 'pettyjohn' is some sort of shipping implement from the Revolutionary War era, correct? Either that or a fancy lady's undergarment
Bronson Arroyo (Reds) - Again with the two last names
Jolbert Cabrera (Reds) - Any time you can and the -bert suffix to a name, it gets simultaneously cooler and dumber at the same time.
Wandy Rodriguez (Astros) - I'll just wave my magic wandy here, and Presto! the game is won. What? Nothing happened? Are you sure, cuz I waved the magic wandy and everything? Stupid wandy.
Mark Saccomanno (Astros) - Is he the cousin of that side character Bob Sacamano that Kramer was always talking about on Seinfeld?
Hunter Pence (Astros) - see Arroyo, Bronson AND Milledge, Lastings
Mitch Stetter (Brewers) - Probably works as a rodeo clown or front a honky-tonk band in the off-season
Corey Hart (Brewers) - "I wear my sunglasses at night"--Just because it's obvious doesn't make it any less cool
T.J. Beam (Pirates) - Man, I want to party with this guy. I bet he can all the free bourbon he wants--just tell the bartender he's the heir to the company and is interested in doing a little "quality control."
Andy LaRoche, Adam Laroche (Pirates) - Boy, I hope they're related, because otherwise one of them is going to develop a serious case of name-envy.
Nyjer Morgan (Pirates) - I don't think that even qualifies as a last name, only a country in Africa
Rick Ankiel (Cardinals) - Not an overly unusual name, but man, what a cool story. Minor league star pitcher, gets to the bigs and has terrible (and I mean half-his-pitches-missed-the-catcher-entirely terrible) control problems. Gets sent back down, gets injured, rehabs, comes back 5 years later as a power-hitting, strong-armed centerfielder. And is good at it. Awesome
Robby Hammock (Diamondbacks) - Loves sitting around the backyard, cool drink in hand, watching the kids and lounging on himself.
Augie Ojeda (D-backs) - My friend Jon used to have a little yip-yip dog named Augie. Probably just a coincidence
Brian Fuentes (Rockies) - Mr. Daisy Fuentes? Perhaps, though his name does seem to fit nicely with...
Jason Grilli (Rockies) - Fuentes and Grilli? It's a barbeque waiting to happen!
Ubaldo Jimenez (Rockies) - You think my hairline's receding, look at you! Ubaldo!
Steven Register (Rockies) - Never has the nickname "Cash" or "Cash money" been more appropriate
Yhency Brazoban (Dodgers) - Must be related to Jhonny Peralta. There's just all sorts of misplaced letters here
Casey Blake (Dodgers) - Funny story...My freshman year of college I lived in the dorm with this guy whose given name was Charles Flanagan, but had always gone by Casey (shout-out to Casey if you ever happen to read this). So another friend who lived across the hall from me on the 1st floor (Matt Ledin) and I were hanging out with some other people near the end of the school year, and Casey and his roommate came downstairs. Matt said, "Hey Blake." He honestly thought Casey's name was Blake and had been under that assumption for the majority of the year. The name stuck on as a nickname, which I think was just hilarious. And here are his real name AND his nickname combined to form a third baseman. The circle just keeps getting smaller.
Cla Meredith (Padres) - What, in too much of a hurry to finish off that name properly? I assume it's pronounced like "Clay", but can you really be sure? Maybe it's Gaelic and is spoken with a gutteral rasp of the throat.
Dirk Hayhurst (Padres) - Now starring in a low-budget, agricultural porn near you...
Wade LeBlanc (Padres) - I think Wade is about the least poetic name you could possibly come up with to pair with the classy, Frenchified "LeBlanc". So does he go by "Wade the White"? Because that would totally make up for it.
Khalil Greene (Padres) - Only mentioned here because he's a tall, skinny surfer kid (not unlike Sean Penn's Spiccoli character from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) and that name just doesn't fit. Aloha, Mr. Hand
Brad Hennessey (Giants) - Where's T.J. Beam when you need him? What a double bill party the two of them could throw! You would get the laid-back Southern sippers AND the hip-hop crowd. Now there's a mash-up
Brian Wilson (Giants) - Boy, he's been busy lately. First, he came out of seclusion to finish the long-awaited Smile album he abandoned 30 years ago. Now, he's pitching in the major leagues. Is there anything he can't do?
Travis Ishikawa (Giants) - Just seems a bit incongruous, doesn't it?


That's all I got. Enjoy.