PWWWMTW list

That's right. It's back. The weekly Players Who Will Wrong Me This Weekend list. (If you don't already know, we're talking fantasy football here). And what I would say to them were they here.

to Calvin Johnson: C'mon, dude. You're Megatron. Suck it up and play already. I spent a 2nd round pick on you all over the place and so far you've only lived up to your reputation as a Lion. Be a man.

to Shonn Greene: So I assume since I've added you on a bunch of teams this week, you're going to be entirely mediocre the rest of the season, correct? You just wanted to tease me (and the rest of fantasyland) with your breakout performance against the lowly Black Holes.

to Jay Cutler: Jay, I have a nagging feeling you are going to lay a big, fat egg vs the Cleveland Stains this weekend. Why is that?

to Cedric Benson: How dare you take a week off.

to Matt Forte: Man, are you looking like the bust of the year. Now if you don't have a huge day against the Cleveland D that just made 2009 Ryan Grant look like
2007 Ryan Grant, I may be forced to drive to Chicago and smack you.

to Brandon Jacobs: Dude, you're huge. I don't have you on a single fantasy team, but could you do me the favor of getting hurt? You're overdue. Plus, then your backup, Ahmad (whom I DO have on several teams) will get the full load of carries he deserves.

to Andre Johnson: Not really much to say here. I guess it's perfectly understandable to not play because of a lung contusion. Wuss.

to Ricky Williams: A week after carrying me to an unlikely victory, I have a feeling you're going to have the following statline: 5 carries, 13 yards, 0 TDs, 1 big bowl of crow for me.

to Frank Gore: When Vernon "Stonehands" Davis steals your thunder, you've got a problem.

to Jonathan Stewart, Steve Smith 1.0: Eesh. Any chance you guys could do anything on offense? How bout this? Bench Delhomme, let DeAngelo take ALL the direct snaps, put the Daily Show in the backfield with him, and run the triple wing with Version 1.0. This is what those stats would look like:
Delhomme: 0 for 0, 0 yds, 0 TDs, and, most importantly, 0 turnovers
Williams: 2 for 2, 14 yds, 0 TDs; 22 carries, 109 yds, 2 TD
Stewart: 18 carries, 75 yds, 1 TD
Smith: 2 catches, 14 yds, 0 TD, 9 CARRIES, 204 YDS, 4 TD

That's right, I'm calling you out, Mr. Smith. Do it.

That's all I got right now.