All-MLB Name Team, Vol 1

Well--the NFL was so much fun and you know baseball has more foreign names to offer. Plus, I don't follow baseball very much, so most of these names are new to me as well, providing extra shock value.

and so we begin...
Milton Bradley (Rangers)- is he a DH? is he a board game pioneer? is he both? one of the greatest names ever in professional sports
Coco Crisp (Red Sox)- an OF? a breakfast cereal character? hard to say.
Danys Baez (Orioles)- what, are there two of him?
Rocky Cherry (Orioles) - really? I'm still on the 1st roster and we already have danys and this ice cream flavor? This is going to be awesome.
Radhames Liz (Orioles) - this guy got married and took his wife's maiden first name
Aubrey Huff (Orioles) - if you saw the NFL name team, this guy is undoubtedly friends with mackenzy bernadeau
David Aardsma (Red Sox) - as close as I think we'll ever see to someone named 'aardvark'
Phil Coke (Yankees) - was this guy named in the Mitchell report?
Joba Chamberlain (Yankees) - I actually know who this guy is. Still doesn't excuse the name. C'mon, isn't 'joba' like a Japanese pocket toy similar to the Giga-pets of yesteryear?
Melky Cabrera (Yankees) - does he have a brother named 'Juicy'? how bout 'Beery'?
Jae Kuk Ryu (Rays) - Yeah, I know. And generally I would leave Eastern-origin names off, but seriously, this looks like a character from Mortal Kombat. I have no idea how it's pronounced, let alone what order they actually function in
Rocco Baldelli (Rays) - should be a prize fighter in Jersey
Kevin Mench (Blue Jays) - as in Kevin "Oh, you know my friend Skip, he a real..."
Boone Logan (White Sox) - Clearly filled out the paperwork for employment wrong when it said "Last Name--First Name"
Jason Bourgeois (White Sox) - Yeah, he plays baseball for the working-class South-siders, but when he gets home to his mansion by Lake Michigan, he kicks back by the pool with his trophy wife and revels in his own name/lifestyle.
Josh Fields (White Sox) - Does he? Anyone?
Nick Swisher (White Sox) - the Happy Gilmore of Major League Baseball
Jensen Lewis (Indians) - see "Boone Logan" above
Asdrubal Cabrera (Indians) - For the life of me, I can't pronounce this guy's first name
Jhonny Peralta (Indians) - Excuse me, Mr. Peralta, you have clearly misplaced your 'H'
Shin-Soo Choo (Indians) - Seems like a bad caricature from an old Western
Kenny Rogers (Tigers) - I thought he was like 70 years old! Congrats, Kenny. Glad to see you're keeping in shape by throwing the ol' ball around from time to time, whilst still belting out those mellow country classics. Thank you, Kenny Rogers, for all your goodness.
Ryan Braun () - on this list mostly because he is NOT the Brewers OF, but a pudgy relief pitcher for Kansas City. Who knew?
Jimmy Gobble (Royals) - gobble, gobble, gobble, here, turkey, turkey, turkey...
Esteban German (Royals) - some sort of ethnic heritage mash-up here...
Ross Gload (Royals) - It's just funny to look at
Kila Ka'aihue (Royals) - a Hawaiian in the big leagues? Awesome. I can't imagine there's a lot of pickup baseball games in the South Pacific. Oh wait...he plays for the Royals
Boof Bonser (Twins) - I actually just read a story about guys who have legally changed their names in pro sports and this guy is one of 'em. Apparently, he was called 'Boof' as a child and it just stuck, so he changed it legally. I'm not buying it. My guess? He lost a pool game or bar bet and had to change his name to whatever he said when his buddy punched him in the stomach. Boof!
Dennys Reyes (Twins) - Again with the plural first name?
Shawn Loux (Angels) - Where's the 'de la'? It seems like there should be more to this guy's name
Chone Figgins (Angels) - What the hell's a chone? It sounds like a disgusting Scottish pastry or something.
Vladimir Guerrero (Angels) - another confluence of cultures, he has to be the only Vlad in the world with dreadlocks
Kirk Saarloos (Athletics) - Way too many vowels
Justin Duchscherer (Athletics) - Before you say this name looks fine, think about this span of letters: 'chsch'. Find that in another word (or name for that matter)
Kurt Suzuki (Athletics) - Big motorbike fan. Some of these are just too easy
J.J. Putz (Mariners) - I think the only way you can make 'Putz' worse than it already is? Go by initials instead of an actual name
R.A. Dickey (Mariners) - Quick! There's an initial epidemic in Seattle!
Tug Hulett (Mariners) - Was this guy a longshoreman? I realize the Mariners are terrible this year, but couldn't they have recruited from an actual baseball team instead of the docks?
Frank Francisco (Rangers) - So if we reduce his name to one language, he's really just 'Frank Frank', right?
Bill White (Rangers) - Paging Mr. Generic, your table for one is ready
Jarrod Saltalamacchia (Rangers) - Mostly because it's excruciatingly long
Taylor Teagarden, German Duran, Frank Catalanotto (Rangers) - Man, the Rangers are full of 'em. I officially declare them the San Diego Chargers of the American League

Alright, that's all I got for tonight. It's early, but the Brewers are on (and winning), and I didn't go to bed until 3am last night. Watch for Vol 2 (the National League) coming soon.